First week back...

Okay, so I know that I've been home for more than a week (actually two weeks yesterday) but I just had to write about my first week back from the hospital because it was such a rough one and I'll want to remember the story some day.
I came home from the hospital on Sunday (the 11th.)  We got home and it was all kind of surreal, but Jesalyn was being her perfect little self.  Just sleeping soundly and when she woke up she just looked around.  She didn't fuss one bit.  And then it got dark, and my sweet little angel turned into a screaming machine.  I'm so serious.  She cried the ENTIRE night, so hard that her little voice was hoarse.  Jarrod and I took turns trying to calm her down.  We would finally get her asleep and lay her in her basinett and she would wake up screaming again.  I just could not figure out what was going on.  In the hospital she didn't cry but like twice. The only thing I could figure was that as the nurse was walking us out to the car on the day we came home, she flipped the "on" switch secretly located on Jesalyn somewhere and set the timer to go off as the sun went down.  We finally got through the night with, I would say, a combined total of 45 minutes sleep. 
She just so happened to have a follow up appointment on Tuesday so Jarrod and I took her together.  And this is where my bad week got even worse.  To make a long story short, the pediatrician basically came in and said "your starving your child."  Now, I don't know that those words actually came out of her mouth, but she might as well said it.  Apparently since Jesalyn had been home she had lost 9 ounces (she left the hospital at 5 pds and that day she weight 4pd 8oz.) Now, I'm not saying that the doctor didn't have a right to be worried and that she shouldn't have told us that she had lost so much weight.  I'm actually pretty embarassed to be writing all this, but I've heard alot of other moms say they experienced this same thing and felt horrible too.  So anyway, this doctor is saying everything possible to make me feel like the worse mom ever and I just start bawling.  I think I cried for 2 days straight.  I don't care what the case is, you don't tell a brand new mom just home from the hospital, hormones going crazy, that she is starving her baby.  There are so many other ways to address the situation and get your point across. 
So what happened?  Well, I am breastfeeding, or trying to at least.  At the hospital she was doing pretty good latching on, but she wouldn't stay very long and it's hard to know how much she was getting.  I'll spare you all the details but when I got home it was extremely painful (on the pain scale of 1-10, it was a 9) to breastfeed her. I cried just about everytime I tried to feed her. I think she was having problems latching, and then when my milk fully came in, she couldn't do it at all. So, she just wasn't getting enough food.   I talked to a lactation consultant to try and help and it helped a bit, but Jesalyn just kept getting frustrated and wouldn't eat.  I didn't want to go to formula, I had decided to breastfeed and I had felt like I was a horrible mother who couldn't take care of her child.  I had all this milk that had clearly come in and I couldn't get it to my baby (nothing came out when I tried to pump.)  The lactation consultant told me that babies lose weight when they came home and she did not need formula.  After about 3 hours of trying to breastfeed that night, and my baby crying because she was hungry, Jarrod and I decided that feeding our child was more important than HOW she was fed and we fixed her some formula.  She drank the whole thing and fell to sleep.  I was bummed that it wasn't breastmilk, but relieved that my little girl wasn't hungry anymore.  That night she slept really good. We had to wake her up every 2 hours to eat so that she could put some weight on, but between feedings she slept like my little angel again.  We had to go back to the doctors office the next day for a weight check and she had gained an ounce.  A week later she had put on almost a pound since the first visit.  My milk has since released some and we are still trying to breastfeed and I'm able to pump some. So we are doing formula and breastmilk both and that seems to be working out alright.  The goal is to switch purely to breastfeeding but that depends on baby sug. 
Gotta cut this short (I've been working on it off and on for 2 hours.)  Gotta a little one to take care of now =) and she needs my attention. I'll close by saying that I had always heard the breastfeeding was hard, but I had no clue. I read some other people blogs on it the other day.  They were having some of the same issues I was having and it really made me feel somewhat normal, like I'm not such a bad mom afterall.

I'll get more pictures up soon.
...thanks for reading...

Birth Story

Thought I'd try to get this in while Jesalyn is sleeping.  On the Friday they induced me (Oct. 9th) I woke up at like 4:00 in the morning.  Just couldn't sleep anymore. I got ready, Jarrod got up and everyone at the house (mom, sister, and best friend E stayed over) was up to see us out the door.  It was a rainy morning and I had my flip flop's on.  The one's I fall in all the time.  And wouldn't you know it, I slipped coming down the stairs and landed on my tailbone.  Luckily, nothing else was hurt, but Jarrod was scared to death. 
We made it to the hospital at around 6:00 and they took us to the room.  As soon as we were in there, I was told to put on my robe and they would be in to get things started.  No small talk, were just gonna do this thing.  I don't know what I was expecting; a 30 minute conversation about how I was feeling.  So I put on the oh so pretty gown and waited for the nurse to come back in.  It didn't take too long, but long enough that I noticed the ugly wallpaper on the walls and the scuff marks on the ceiling.  Seriously, why would there be scuff marks on the ceiling?  Later that night during the active labor, Jarrod and I came up with some ideas (just to lighten the mood.)
So, the nurse came in and told me she was going to get my IV put in for the pitocin.  No problem right? Wrong, Apparently, my veins like to roll.  Let's just say it took 5 needles and 3 nurses to get my IV in and going.  It's been 9 days since I've been out of the hospital and both my arms still look like I've been beaten up. The nurse hooked up the pitocin and said things should get started soon. The doctor came in around 8:00 and broke my water.  I started having some small contractions shortly after, but nothing serious.  "So this is what cramps feel like"  Everyone keep telling me that the start of labor feels like menstrual cramps.  I have always been lucky enough to not have them, so now I know.  Family and friends came in and out of the room for a while.  Jarrod was in there the whole time with me.  They started getting a bit stronger and the nurse suggested I get up and stand for a while.  She brought in the birthing ball.  That seemed to help and make the contractions stronger and closer together (the whole point of labor right.)  By this time it was like 1:00 or 2:00.  I was having to breath through the contractions.  Surely I was dilated more. Nope.  Each time the nurse came in, I hadn't dilated but to like 2-3 centimeters, but my cervix was thinning.  This is good too, but I really wanted those centimeters.  At one point, I got up to use the restroom and we noticed that my IV was leaking. We had noticed it earlier, but didn't really think much of it.  Jarrod finally went and told the nurse and come to find out, the pitocin had fallen out.  My body had been doing most of the work on it's own.  I was glad to hear that, but knew that I probably had lost a few hours and that now that she was hooking it up, the pain would get much harder (she had turned it up a bit ealier, thinking it was still plugged in.)  I was right, the contractions started getting much harder.  The nurse came in later and said that since things were going well, she was going to unplug me and let me shower and then walk around the hospital to move things along.  That shower felt so amazing. Seriously, why can't we just have babies in the shower.  After that, me and my posse (Jarrod, mom, sister, and E) walked circles in the postpartum area, stopping every minute or so for a contraction to pass.  We passed all the rooms with babies in them and I just kept thinking, this will all be over and I'll be in there with my little girl.  After 45 minutes we got back to the room (it was 6:00 at this time) and they came in to check me.  I think I was like 4 centimeters at this point but the contractions were getting harder and harder.  A couple of hours passed and they came in to check me; 6 centimeters, but the pain was pretty bad.  The nurse gave me some kind of drug for pain and man it made me loopy.  If I would have been able to get up, I would have punched her for giving it to me.  Supposedly, it was suppose to dull the pain a bit.  All it did was make me feel like I was in a fog.  Well that, and stopped my shakes.  I started getting the shakes really bad. I couldn't stop my body from shivering. It was kind of scary, but apparently a common thing during delivery they never tell you about.  By this point, I was seriously wanting the epidural but scared about it and the complications that can come with it.  Jarrod said a prayer and we called in the anesthesiologist.  I was at 7 centimeters by this point. A little upset that I didn't do it completely natural, but proud of myself for making it this far.  Once the epidural started working, I couldn't believe how fast the pain disappeared.  I could still feel some tightening (I wasn't completely numb) but the pain was gone.  A nurse came in around 10:20'ish to check me and said "oh, I don't feel a cervix! It's time to start pushing."  And as Jarrod said, the bed started folding down like some kind of transformer and it was time to get the show started.  Jesalyn was born at 10:43 and when I heard that first cry, it was like the room and the whole world pushed the pause button.  It was all so real. Jarrod cut the cord and they put her on my stomach. All we could say was how pretty she was. 

Jesalyn Kay Pruitt

Okay, so I know I've been a bit lax on the whole blog but man this baby thing just takes up so much time =) But she is so worth it!! I appologize for not updating the day of the delivery but I was planning on having my sister do it but didn't give her the information to log on. I'll do my best to get everything recorded on here. Maybe not today, but over time for sure.
So, yeah, my baby sug is here! And she is just as perfect as I knew she would be. We named here Jesalyn (Jes-uh-lyn) Kay Pruitt. She was born at 10:43 pm on Friday October 9, 2009. She weighed in at 5pds 3oz and 19 1/2 inches long. Jarrod and I are so happy we can hardly stand ourselves. From that first cry, we were hooked =)
I'll be honest when I say that this week has been a pretty rough one, just getting adjusted to everything. I'll go into it in detail later but I've learned that it's the small things that really matter. From waiting for her first poop to waiting to the milk to come in, it's been pretty emotional, but things are starting to take shape and I can actually say that I can see that things will even themselves out and the routine will start.
Well, I know it's short, but I've got a lot to catch up on so I will go for now. I'll get my labor story and all the oh so fun stuff that has happened this week up later, but I just wanted you all to know that Jesalyn is here. Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers. And because I know your all dying to see: a few pictures:

 

 

 

Today's the Day...

In about one hour, Jarrod and I will be leaving to head to the hospital to have our little sug. I got up a little earlier than my alarm just because I couldn't sleep. This is the story with Wednesday night too, but Wednesday I just laid in bed staring at the ceiling. So, I figured this morning I would just give in and get up earlier, get a nice long hot shower and take my time getting ready and I have to say I'm glad I did. So, how do I feel? What are my emotions? Exactly the opposite as I thought they would be. My head is trying to tell me to get ready for the crazy day that lies ahead, but the rest of me seems to be pretty relaxed. I feel like yeah, I'm going to have a baby today (all chill-like.) =) Normally, I'm the opposite. My body is going crazy from nerves and my head is trying to calm me down. Granted I'm not actually at the hospital yet, not hooked up to the monitor and machines, but I'm just going to face that when it gets here.
My sister has got her laptop with her and I think there is internet access at the hospital so we'll try to keep you posted today, it will probably be someone other than me writing but we'll do our best.
Thanks so much to you all for your thoughts and prayers today. I know that's the reason I'm doing so well right now and will continue to the rest of the day.
*I'm gonna be a mommy today!*

...Stay Tuned....

Induction

So, I went in to my doctors appointment today, planning for a normal visit. I figured he would check my cervix and tell me that I've dilated a centimeter and to keep an eye out for any labor symptoms. That's not at all what happened. I had my doctors appointment with the diabetes doctor first and everything seemed to be going good until the checked her weight. 5pds 9oz; that's in the 10th percentile. This worried me. I knew she was small, but that's just too small. The doctor said that yes, it was very small but all the other things checked out: amniotic fluid, heartbeat, and they even checked the umbilical chord to make sure it was doing it's job and that was fine. But, he told me to go ahead to my regular doctors appointment (scheduled right after this one) and he would talk to me about everything else.
He did check my cervix and kept saying "you have a very favorable cervix right now." I had no clue what this meant, so I had him explain. Basically he said that it's softening up and that I'm 2-3 cent. dilated already. Also, he said the baby is pretty far down so everything seems to point to being ready for labor.
I asked him about the weight of baby sug and he said he's glad that everything else seems to be good, but that they are not sure why she isn't gaining much weight. "So, we are going to have you come in Friday morning and start you on some pitocin." This maybe me do a double take. Is he saying what I think he's saying? "And then what?" I asked him. "And then, I'll probably break your water, stop the pitocin and see what you body will do on it's on." Again, I'm thinking, this sounds like what I'm thinking, but why won't he just say it. Make it completely clear for me. So I said "So, your saying Friday is the day. Like, if I needed to call me family to come, it would be Friday?" He verified that yes, Friday is the day. So, yeah, I'm being induced on Friday at 6:00am He said the reason they are going to this before my due date is because if I keep going and she doesn't gain any weight, the amniotic fluid could start decreasing (I'm not sure why this is) and there's a chance that I could have to have an emergency c-section, which I don't not want. When he checked my cervix, he said he did something to move things along so I guess there's a chance I could still go on my own today or tomorrow, but regardless I'll have a baby by this weekend.
I'm getting pretty nervous. I'm excited too. I'm so ready to hold her and see her, but goodness gracious it's about to happen! Ready or not =)

...thanks for reading.....

Labor signs?

Well, tomorrow is my last day of work and let me say I've got some mixed emotions about it. I've got two weeks of vacation and then, hopefully, my baby girl will be here. My initial reaction is super excitement. I've been counting down the days that I get to leave for a while and just relax without having to worry about all that my job requires from me. But on other hand I know myself and I know that for the first 3 days I will be cleaning and getting all the laundry finished up, the next day I'll probably just relax and do nothing, but then, after that...the next however many days until the baby comes I will just be walking around the house trying to find or think of something to do. I don't do "nothing" very good. I have to be busy or I go crazy. I know I should be resting and getting caught up on my sleep, but I don't do "napping" well either. I'll lay down, completely exhausted but my mind races until I just have to get up. I've thought about cooking some things up to freeze for after the baby comes. First thing on the list.....muffins! Oh my goodness, carb-loaded muffins just sound so good right now...chocolate chip, pumpkin, orange, oatmeal, coffee.... just give me the carbs and no one gets hurt =) Honestly, the diet is a pretty good diet. I'll probably stick to it some after I deliver, with a cheat day here and there. Of course I mean after the 2 week binge of eating everything that I've been craving. I probably gain double the weight I've already gained just from the junk food =) But then, I'll get back on track . Speaking of the diet, I stepped on the scale at my last appointment and guess what? Yep, I have lost more weight! Another 5 pounds. Again I asked the doctor about this, and he's not worried. "Cutting carbs from your diet will actually make your body eat up any extra fat that your carrying" is basically what he said. "As long as your eating healthy and the baby is growing, I'm not worried." Now, there are a few things that I will change in this diet once I deliver. I will probably cut back from some of the meat I'm eating (haven't decided if I'll go full-veg again). I know that while some things are low carb, they are still unhealthy. The other thing I will do is incorporate alot more fruit into my diet. Fruit, which is healthy for you, apparently has alot of carbs in them, so much so that I can't eat a whole apple now without it raising my blood sugar.

As for the pregnancy symptoms, I've been doing okay. There's been a couple of times where Jarrod and I have started timing the contractions. I've been getting quite a few of them, mostly at night. Last night there were a few really bad ones, ones that radiated down to my lower abdomen. In the past, they have stayed primarily in the upper abdomen so this was a new symptom and a couple of them hurt whereas the ones I usually get didn't. The other main symptom that I've been having is I feel like, pardon the descriptiveness here, my pelvic bones are splitting open. I know this is normal, and a good sign that she is starting to drop, but man if I sit down for more than 5 minutes I can't walk at all. I'm talking a slug would beat me in a race. My coworkers laugh at me when I get up to use the restroom at work because I'm sure my walk looks like a waddle amped up on steroids. All this to say, I can tell my body is starting to prepare itself for delivering this baby girl, which is a bit nerve racking, but also pretty exciting.
....thanks for reading....