Decisions, Decisions...

So, I have a little less than 2 months before I'm suppose to go back to work and I'm so lost in what to do.  There are just so many choices and paths that we could go down come the new year.  I was holding Jesalyn this morning and I just thought to my self, there is no way I can hand her over to a day care all day while she's still so little and young. So, then I have to decide what to do.  We've always talked about Jarrod staying at home with her and maybe picking up an evening job.  I've been with my job for so long, it seems like I should stay where I'm at.  We've also talked about moving.  But where to? is the next question.  Yes, we miss Nashville like crazy, but it's so much more expensive there.  I would have to get a pretty big raise/promotion to be able to afford living there.  We've talked about moving back to our hometown.  It would be less expensive to live and we would also have our family close by.  But then, the town is so small, would we be able to find jobs?  There are just so many questions and things to think about.  I'm really trying not to stress.  Normally I would be pulling my hair out cutting it this close and not having the answer, but I'm trying to just have faith.  There have many times in my life where I just knew things were going to fall apart.  Like when Jarrod and I got married, I still don't know how we paid all of our bills with what we were making at our jobs, but somehow it all worked out. I believe God had His hand on us, and I believe He's going to help us with this too.  So many times in my life, I've stressed with situations just knowing that it was all going to fall apart, but I've always got through it.  I'm just waiting to see how this whole child care thing is going pan out. 

In other news, we gave Jesalyn her first bath the other night.  She cried during the whole thing.  We had her in her tub.  The tub part has this hammock thing for newborns that keeps them out of the water.  I think she just got cold and that's why she was crying.  We lowered the bottom part of the hammock into the water last night and bathed her, and she didn't cry once. I actually think she kind of liked it.  She held on to my finger for dear life though.  She looked a bit scared like she wasn't so sure what was happening, but I think she like the water.  The pictures below are from the first bath.

 

We tried to catch her smiling the other night:

One month later...

November 9th.  I can not believe that it has been one month since my little girl came into this world.  While one month seems so long ago, there are times when it seems like it was 6 months ago.  So much has happened since that Friday night, Jarrod and I's lives have changed so much.  Everyone tells you when your pregnant that your world is about to change and you think you're prepared, but you really don't know until the day comes and that itty bitty person is here and looking to you for everything.  Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom, but it really is some hard work. The sleepless nights, learning to always breath through your mouth when changing a dirty diaper, and wishing with all your might that your newborn could momentarily talk so that she can tell you why she's been crying for the past 15 minutes when you've done everything possible to make her happy, are all worth it when she's laying there peacefully asleep hanging on to your pinky with her little hand.  Jarrod and I just love her so much.  There are times when she's sleeping in her bassinet and I just have to pick her up and hold her. 
All in all, she has been a very good baby.  She mostly only cries when she's hungry, but when she's hungry watch out!  She can out scream anybody.  If you get her belly full, she'll just lay there looking around quietly.  From the moment she was born, she was already trying to lift her head up.  There are times when I'm holding her, she looks like she is going to get up and crawl.  She's still pretty small,  All of her clothes are still a little big on her, but she's definitely putting on some weight.  We go to the ped. on Wednesday and they'll weigh her.  I'm guess a little over 6 pounds. 
I  had my one month check up today and the doctor is having me get some blood work done to find out why she stopped growing while I was pregnant.  He told me that when he delivered the placenta he noticed that there was a "dead spot" on it.  This means that at some point, it cut off the circulation to Jesalyn.  This is why she stopped growing.  The blood work should tell us why this happened.  She is healthy now and it shouldn't effect me or her, but if I ever get pregnant again then I'll need to know why this happened to prevent it from happening again.  I'm just so happy that they decided to induce me when they did before it caused any damage to her.  So on Wednesday, I get to go have 15 tubes of blood taken.  Yes, 15.  Let's just say I'm not excited =)
The last 4 weeks have been amazing.  I know the next 4 and so on are going to be just as memorable.  I can't wait to see that first "real" smile and hear her talk for the first time (we've been working on "mommy".)  So many firsts to come. 
And because I know I can't publish a post without a picture:

Few pictures...