Sunday, January 31, 2010
Matters of the Heart
Last week I thought that ship had come in for us. I had originally applied for a job with the same company I work for, but the position was a promotion. I knew I was ready for it and it just seemed like the next step. Due to things out of my control, I wasn't offered the position but instead offered a job doing what I do here except I would be TN. Here was our chance. The chance to move back to the place we didn't know we were going to miss so much (what's that phrase: you never know what you had until it's gone.) I had two days to decide. Here we were again. Back and forth on the reasons to go and the reasons to stay. We knew the reasons to go. Are plans have always been to move back when the opportunity presented itself. I would have a job when we got there. Jarrod's not working right now, so he could work on getting things packed. The reasons not to go. Money. We would have to break our lease...which was 2 months rent plus an extra $300 just for good measure. And then the expense of renting a u-haul, gas, plus the extra $150-$200/month for rent that it costs to live in Tennessee compared to Missouri. We did the math and we could do it with what we had in our savings. Even if Jarrod didn't find a job right away, we would be okay. There was nothing holding us back....except something didn't feel right. It's almost annoying. Here was our chance, but everytime we said it out loud "okay, let's just do it, let's just go" something stirred inside. It was almost a fear, or a sick feeling. It wasn't an audible "don't go" from God, but I believe it was His way of telling us the timing wasn't right. I've always tried to go with that "gut feeling" as some people call it. Any time I haven't, things just don't go as well. The minute we decided we officially weren't going to go, a weight was lifted. The peace came. Like I said, it's a bit annoying, but ultimately I think...no, I know, we did the right thing.
I'm still determined to get there some time...I'd rather Jesalyn's first word be "y'all" than "MissourA" =)
Posted by Jamie at 10:50 AM