The past couple of days I have been sitting back (mentally, because I sure don’t have time to sit down physically) and thinking about the last year. 2010 was probably one of the most difficult years for us as a family. January 2010, Jarrod called and quit his job to stay home with Jesalyn. What a rough morning it was making that decision. I’m sure a lot of people thought we were crazy downsizing to one income in the economy that we are in. We even had a couple of people tell us this directly. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to send her to daycare. Something inside me kept telling me not too. It was more than just the first time jitters moms getting on the first day of “giving up” her child to someone else for a day. I fought it. My head kept telling me that it was the logical thing to do. Jarrod had a good job and there was just no way we could survive on my income alone. The logical side of me had her going to daycare all the way up to the first day and then my “gut” kicked in, also known as my God Voice.” Something just didn’t feel right. I knew that we needed to put on our big girl/boy pants and have some faith that the Lord would provide for us, just like He always has. I can honestly say that while I had my moments of “oh my goodness, are we going to make it another month??!” for the most part I did my best not to worry. And you know what, we made it. Here we are in 2011, Jarrod has a part time job and Jesalyn is in day care and loving it! This time around, I was sad about sending her to daycare but I knew that she was ready. Not only that she was ready, but it would be good for her. She would grow from it.
To add to all the goodness that’s happening, we refinanced our auto loan and it cut our car payment in half and I had an interview today for a promotion. I have totally given this possible job opportunity up to whatever might happen. Since becoming a mom, I have slowly learned that this is the only way to be. I use to stress and worry and you know where that got me? Nowhere. What is going to happen will happen regardless of whether or not I lose sleep. When I stopped worrying, life went on and things always seemed to work out, and probably for the better. When I worried, I became proactive trying to force things to happen. Forcing things always seem to mess them up. It’s not until you let go does everything fall into place. I read a quote the other day that said it perfect:
“Only when you stop struggling, do you begin to float.”